Welcome back -Rework + INFO

Hey everyone...

I am sad to say that i am very  disappointed about some of ya.... i delete my pretty long welcome back post because i am really really angry now that this even exist... that i plan to get active again... so really really angry!

I did a post where i said that i fear that my best friend could do, that i would pull her down into the darkness and COULD start cutting... not do/did/or what ever... i never said that she did it... never...

So, especially to the one special guy ... why i am making this blog-post -.-
1. Read carefully what i am REALLY writting
2. Don't ask some strange question!
3. No there... there is no space for something like that!
4. Thanks to ya, i fear she is pretty angry about that and i don't know what i should do now.... 'cause i did nothing wrong.
She dont even talk to me right now and i have to say... that i really cried 'cause of that.... she is important!

So please, if anyone talk about anything from this blog... read it twice or more often and make sure thats really that what u read. U can destroy a special releationship....
So yah, she is pretty special for me....

Thanks for understanding... i hope thats the only and last time something like that will happen....

Info:
Thats why i will never post any personal things here again. So no one can misunderstand or read the wrong thing....
It will be only for specific topicslike illnesses and what they do and how to stop etc. Or recipes...
Nothing personal again...

Just a victimhood or serious?

Hey guys!

First of all, I am sorry for beeing offline for some days. I was not in the country, because some classmates and I went to the neighbour country to watch a small competition, where we also want to take part next year. So yeah, there I haven't the possibility to connect to the net.
We traveled there by train (about 10hours a single route!) and there I had a lot of time to search for a new topic which I want to write about.



As you can see, I found one. ^^ Some people around me bring me up to this topic... I really want to thanks them, because after I wasted some thoughts about this.... I found out that this one is important!

Do you know the feeling when you are down and wish someone would help you up, but you can't take the help, because you fear the the other one just believe that you are acting and want some attention? It doesn't matter how urgently you need this, everytime someone ask you just say "thanks, I am okay" and try to don't show how broken you are.
Yeah? You know what I am talking about? Than I am really sorry for ya... otherwise you should really continue reading, because you will find out something new.

Sometimes there are people which makes a really really big theater about nothing. Just a small thing happend and they act if they would like to kill their self because of that... but that's a insult for everyone who really deals with prolems like that...
Let's make an example! I create some fictitious persons and a fictitious situation. We call the main person Caddy. She just made a bad mark at school. ((Perhaps you are wondering, why I pick this "problem"? There is no connection to reallife... can be, must not.  But everyone knows this situation, because everyone failed at least one time at school.))
The best subject is math for failing (okay we can also pic english or an other subject, but hey! Everyone fails in math sometimes :'D )

So okay ^^ Now we have Caddy crying with her bad mark at the math test. Of course, that's bad for her grades, but she can still improve and make a better on at the next test. So it's no real problem right?
Right here! At this point! We have to be careful! Some of you would say "Yes? That's not a big deal... why is she crying? She only wants attention... so annoying!" the others will think "Omg, no the poor girl. Perhaps it's important to her?". And yeah that right... No one knows if she is just want to be a victim and hope to get some attention.... OR if this mark can have a big influence in here life...
Perhaps her dad hits her because of that? Or she is already depressed and she cannot cope with another low blow...

But how to find out which kind of situation it is?
And that's the question I asked my self the last days... There is no real definition about it, no step for step introdution to find it out. Only if you know the person really well you know it...
After thinking about this question for hours.... i nearly found out the solution!

Everyone who shows his problems (which just seems as small ones) in public, they don't really mean it like that. Why do I think so? That's pretty easy! Because people who are already down, think a lot about what others think about them... and they know if they would talk about their problems.... it seems to be just like theater... just to be in the spotlight....
So these people silence about the things which go through them... But these you sometimes really need help.... Not the person who want to be a victim, the person who get's all attention and compassion....
The real poor people just smile and say no thanks ^^ and the other want mostly answer with something like: "Okay, if u mean it"... No that's not the correct answer... the real-victim wish that the other one would be more stubborn and go to the nerv of the others.... of course... that must be someone who can deal with the problems of others and don't have tons of problems themselfs... but you know what I mean.
Otherwise it's also hard for the "normal" people, to see if someone is down... especially if this one hides the feelings and try to act "normal" too. Sometimes there is no way to recognise it, but this person still wishes that one day someone will come and stop them to fall down the cliff.

Upps! Sorry for this long post! I hope you can think a bit about this and perhaps if you are some of the "normal" ones... open your eyes... perhaps you can be a hero for someone!

Stay strong and live on!
Crylicx

Awesome casserole - Recipe

Hey guys~

Today I made lunch for my family and myself. This time it's not really low-cal, but it's really really awesome. We loved it!
Here I will show you the recipe, perhaps you will also try it out~

Ingredients

You need potatoes, meet, broccoli, paprika, cheese, milk, eggs and some lasagna noodles for the bottom.
I made this dishes for about 4 people. So i took about 400g meat, one whole broccoli, a cup of cheese, 6 big potatoes, 3 eggs, about 300ml milk and one paprika.
And don't forget the herbs! That's important.

1. Step

At first we had to prepare the potatoes.
I peel the potatoes before cooking. I know many of you do it afterwards. But i don't really like to hold hot things in my hand and burn my finger. I am a bit sensitive to heat, you have to know.

While peeling you put water into a pot, add some salt and wait until it starts to boil. Than put the potatoes into the pot and cook them for about 15 minutes.

After the cooked potatoes cooled down, you cut them into slices. Not to thick or to thin... because they are an important ingredients at this casserole.

2. Step

No just cutting everything into small pieces. You can use every kind of vegetable or meat. Just take the one which you prefer. I took broccoli and paprika, these two match perfectly! For meat I prefer turkey meat, also this one cut into small pieces, be carefull that the slices aren't to thick.

3. Step

Now it's time to build our casserole!
But before you can put anything into the casserole dish, we have to grease it. At first we put two layers of lasagna noodles for the bottom of this casserole. Than we put some potatoes on the bottom. Next we make the meat layer on it. Now another layer with cheese, and at least paprika and broccoli. Between the layers
don't forget to put some herbs and spices.

4. Step

At best and last layer is the cheese one! :D

Than you make a mixture with milk and egg. Blend these two ingredients very well and add some salt and pepper.

5. Step

After about 40 minutes baking at 200°C, it's finished!!! 

I hope you liked it! It was really delicious and you should really really try it out!~
Also my dad liked it, although he only eats meat and don't really prefer vegetables...

Just a small reminding. If you have any questions, I am on ask.fm: ask.fm/Crylicx

Thanks for checking this out and I hope too see you again.
Your
Crylicx

Alexithymia? What's that? An Island?

Hey guys~

Another post? I am annoying... I know ;)
As you know, I only write when I really have a lot on mind. And so this time too.

Today I want to write about the island "Alexithymia". It's a beautiful one. Blue sea, high palms and the perfect nearly white sand beach! You should really go there for you next holidy trip!
Look at the picture isn't this place amazing?
The water is really warm, about 23°C! In the evening you can surf on the waves or just eat a coconut during the sunset. ~



Guys? I am just kidding... Alexithymia is not a island... it's more a illnesss... nee.. that's also not the correct word... is a personality trait. About 10 procent of our population has to deal with this.
So lets talk a bit about  what this "disease" is.

General

Alexithymia means someone who is "feeling cold", so means cold... unfeeling... is not able to get strong feelings/emotions. For these people it's also really hard to talk about this topic, because they don't really know who the feel... Often they feel empty inside and other people say that they have no heart. In some way thats true. People like this, don't cry during a funeral, they don't feel anything when someone close dies or get bad injured. They just feel nothing.. or not very much...

But how do someone get this illness?

Mostly the first symptoms are noticeable during childhold. A aberration between the child and it's environment.
A normal child learns who to emote. They know what face they have to make if they fear, cry, laugh, etc. and also know what the otherone feels. But some people don't go through this progress and never learned properly who to act/'feel'. This disability influence the whole life, like the job or partner choice, friendships and psychical status.

Someone with Alexithymia (these people we will call "Alexthyme" here) can't really deal with emotional experiences. They think, act and communicate 'factor-oriented'. That's why they are often have many troubles while communicate with other people. For example, your best friend tell you about a scene in a movie, where everyone cried because that was so sad, but you don't feel anything. Or if you watch it with this friend and you just see him crying. But nothing is inside you. No sadness, not even happiness... just nothing.

That's why people with this disorder learn who to act. If they laugh, than often only because they know that they have to do in this situation, but it isn't real. These people are very good actors, 'cause they have to were a mask in public, all the time.
It's also typical for Alexthyme to eliminate feelings. Often they also have psychical problems, but it's a bit hard to treat someone if this person don't know who to feel or don't want to.

In many studies people find out that there are realations between Alexithymia and depressions/eating disorders/drug abuses/and more... Although Alexithymia isn't a official illness, Alexithyme have big troubles in their life. This disorder is a risk factor, if the affected person experience a situation where it's important to know how to deal with feelings. At this point they can easily get depressions or anxiety disorder.

Reasons for this are genetic factors as well as emotional neglect, for example the child have to grow up under a lot of pressure or with a family where showing feelings is a no-go.
But sometimes people use this illness as "safety factor"... Sometimes the affected person have to go through so many negativ experiences, that they automatical starts to get ride of feelings.... Mostly that's the only way to deal with it.


Yeah... Sorry for this long post. I hope you find it interesting and perhaps you know someone who could have this disorder, than be careful! These people are just liars and it's dangerous to trust them. Don't get too close...

Thanks for reading~
Crylicx

Low Calorie Recipe - Potato Chips

 

Hey guys~

Today I want to do my first post about the other topic which i decided to write about.
It's about food, because I have to think a lot about that during my 'diet' (you don't know anything about it? Check out my previous posts :D).

I was not sure, what the first post will be. Perhaps about unhealthy foodstuffs or how important it is for your body? In the end I know, I will do a little "How to make" Tutorial, where I show you one of my favourite dishes. Of course its has low cals! Otherwise I couldn't eat it :'D
But enough talking for now ^^ Let's start~

Ingredients:

- potatoes (here about 1kg)
- 1-2 onions
- many different herbs
    (like Oregano, parsley, italy herbs
     mix, chilli&pepper)
- pinch of salt
- oil

1. Step

Cut the potatoes in slices, about 3-4 mm thick. 
Then cut the onions into small pieces.

        

2. Step

Take a baking sheet and spread the potato slices equally on it.
Next you put a little bit oil on them. That's important so they can get a proper gold-brown color at the end.

 

3. Step

Now add also the other ingredients, like the cutten onions and all herbs you want. At the end a pinch of salt.


If everything is on the baking plate, mix everything very very well.

4. Step

After everything is well mixed, put it into the oven for about 30-45min (it depends how crispy you like your potato chips).



~ 180°C       ~ 350F

Finished

It's super easy and fast! Oh, and the flavour is godlike! You should really try this recipe out!
You can also use this as side dishes. I already made it when we had barbecue or a steak.

About the calories:

100g potato           :           77 cals
100g onion            :           40 cals
1 tbsp oil               :           88 cals
------------------------------------------
It depends who much you use, but if you take about 1kg potatoes, 150g onions and 2 tbsp oil:

100g potato chips    :    ~ 87 cals
   

Friends?

Hey guys~

Sorry I know I didn't make a post the last days. I am very sorry about that, but i had to think about a lot recently...
And I am still thinking about it...
Someone told me that i should forget this person and do something with friends... With my friends...
But what are really friends?
Is someone a friend who talks to you again and again? Or someone who send you text messages?
What's the definition of "friend"?
Of course I have some which i called 'friends'.  But are they really friends or just 'better acquaintances'? How do I know that?
Yeah, there is also someone where I can laugh and have fun, someone who understands how I feel in some way. Is that a true friend than? I guess so...
But where is my motivation to do more with these people? Sometimes it's really funny! But most of the time i prefer to stay at home... in my own room... alone. Behind the closed door i can be myself. No masks. No fake smile. Just the truth... Just the dark clouds above me and my thoughts.
Perhaps you think i am very antisocial person? I guess you wouldn't think that when you meet me. I try my best to be 'normal'. hahaha "Normal" that could be another topic where I talk about this word.. a word where is also again no clear (or correct) definition.
But back to the topic! What are friends?
I still don't know...
But I have to stop writing for now... I don't feel really well right now...
Again many thoughts are going throught my mind... Sorry for that..
Perhaps my next post will longer.. we will see...

Bye for now.
Thanks for checking this post out.
Crylicxx

About my "diet" ;)

Hey guys~

The last post these days were dark enough... So I decided to make a status-update of my "diet".
You know I told ya before that I want to get prettier? I want to lose about 20kg? If you missed it just stream over the post with the title "What happends if you eat under 500kcal daily?". There you can read a bit more about it ;)
So at my last post I told ya that I am eating about 400-500 daily? Yeah.. That changed a bit ^^ now its between 200-300... ok, that was my goal. But now more and more often I am under 200kcal daily! Thats really awesome! I am burning about 300-500kcal daily so that mean I take less input that i burn away! And also my weight is dropping down! Futhermore I reached a milestone under 70kg and I did it! At the moment I am about 69kg and I hope it will continue going down like this...

But there are some disadvantage about eating less. I already mentioned these in the futher post but I want to repeat them. I start freezing more often than a 'normal-eating' human. I also can catch a cold more easier, for example... right now... the last days I was really ill....
Also at the beginning I was soo tired and my concentration was so horrible that even a stone could be more productive than I was... But now after about 20 days(?) I feel so much more energy and I can better concentrate than before. I mean before this diet. So yeah! I love this! Also I feel more motivated to do anything and cant continue my work more easier than weeks ago.
Only one big problem is there... in my plan... Parents...

You can tell your parents that you start to eat healthier and do more sport...for losing weight. But you can't stop eating as long as you life at their place! And that's a really really big problem for me.
For example... if my mum make me a roll with sliced sausages and cheese... that mean you have to eat about 350kcal... for one single roll! Come on! That's more than I want to eat a hole day!!
So how can you still eat less calories and make your parents happy? I don't know... Most of the time I just say "no, thanks I don't eat white bread. I make something else my own" (like a small slice of bread with a nano millimeter of butter) and that's all. But you can't do that the whole time because your mother will notice that you don't just make a diet.... that your real plan is to starve until you reached your weight...
But when you really eat more than you want (should), than I do a extra exercise-session to burn the superfluous colories.

But yeah guys! Focus on your goals and stay strong~
Thanks for reading this post and look forward to see the next one!

All the best
Your  Crylicx

PS:
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